Grief

 

Shine on ! (my child!)

(I wrote this after talking to one of my nieces; she was processing her mother's (my sister's) loss)

When you sense the sorrow

Be it today, or tomorow,

Listen deeper to your heart

To those voices from the past,

reprising all we talked

(and those that I taught).

If happiness still eludes you

Look up to the high skies -

All those shining stars

or that floating cloud

is me...
Looking at thee, 

Happy and very proud,

and what you've become -

Grounded, kind and then some.

Trust me, my child,

I've seen whats in plan,

In that future, wondrous and wild,

You are that woman,

I could aspire to be !!
(Now, stop thinking of me,
Gotta go listen to live SPB)

Never Ending Story

 

Two years gone by

Since the goodbye(s)!

Was it yesterday,  

Or an eon ago?  

I turn the leaf 

In the book of grief,  

Every line I read, 

Strings a bead

of a memory past;

Of joy then, sorrow now.

Not wanting to last,

In this aching woe

I go to the last page -

Just as I fear,

Through my tears,

can't see "The End." 🥹

(Perhaps "yet" my friend !)

--------------
When someone read this poem of mine, they sent me this beautiful Reddit post.

2023

The road ahead unknown and dark,

Fall colors aground quietly hark,

Of memories of the year past and done,

Happy ones, sadness many, regrets none.

Hesitant, I stood staring ahead,

A bit of expectation, a bit of dread...

Then, this tap on the shoulder,

I turned around, I looked at her.

Amidst the endless many a nope,

Stood she with a smile, Hope

Beckoning, to take her extended hand.

Through these ever shifting sands.

Here I am now, moving on,

Held and steered gently,

By faith, of a better 2023!

Yet Another Good Bye ! :-(

How do you even say good bye to someone who is your first friend; and forever friend ? 

After 2 year of battle of the dreaded cancer (redux), my dear sister passed away this August. As someone who had acess to so much information, I was very aware of the prognosis of a metastatic cancer; but it never prepares you for the eventuality. I always thought we could have another day, another week and perhaps another month more. But there is no greyness in the eventuality, it is definite. 

My first memory of her, was when I was less than 5 years old - the house in Chennai; where she simply fooled me in a competition. Who wins in finishing first a favorite treat, that my mom made. I was the winner, but then I saw her eat with relish, ever so s-l-o-w-l-y, enjoing every bite of it, and me watching that; it took me several years to realize that she actually won it. Then came the memories, in that lovely house in Katpadi. While playing catch, she had tripped me and I fell and hit my head and started profusely bleeding. I had to have a couple of stitches in my skull; I guess she felt guilty about it and tried to up my spirit by joking and singing a parody of the ad of my dad's bank (and btw, she had such a bad voice! Neither of us had inherited our mom's voice); without realizing laughing only made my pain worse.

She was unerringly/unflinchingly "loyal" to me (and naturally, to her family - kids/spouse) - even when I started smoking, or had that first drink; and when my kid arrived, she was one of the rock that we leaned on for support. She brought the same fierceness in embracing my better half as her sister and my son as her own. Once when my 8 year old kid was bullied and he came in narrated innocently about it, she had tears in her eyes - that is how much she cared for people around her. She always gave the benefit of the doubt to others; she was ever the pacifist within the family and ferocious in defending without, putting her kids (first) and spouse in the front and center, so much so she subsumed her own personality and how she grew up pre-marriage. She wasn't always like this; until upto middle years in college, she was brash and abrasive; but something switched on during the final years, when she became a follower of Puttaparthi Sai Baba and started volunteering in their medical camps. The one thing I am thankful for, is to have reconnected her to Sai-Bhajans during her treatment and last year - I used to go to the Sai temple here and do a video call as the poojai was going on.

To me, personally, she was the first one within the family that I usually talked to. If there was something that I need to get some perspective on, I'll send her a message or ping her. There weren't answers, but sure I was listened to; and that helped. I used to tell her of all the scenarios I had imagined through my life, she going this early was never one of them. In the past months, since she left there are several occasion, that I sense her absence, as I turn around to look for answers or even affirmation with something. She has left a chasm that I doubt can ever be filled. 

Last year, while she was going through the treatment, she and I had a bit of fun as I was walking around, showing the Christmas lights on video call. As we were going through the arches, I told her to duck her head as it may hit the arches - given she is quite tall; and she did that in fun as I walked through each of the lighted arches.

Yesterday, I went to that street - and walked through the arches. The memories of last year and everything else came back to me. How do I even fill that space that she left behind ? How do I even replace a friend of nearly 50+ years, who was my solid scaffold ? Probably never; but perhaps, I'm hoping the past memories she left behind, would be the one that stand in her stead.

Oh, I'm pretty sure yesterday as I was walking through those lighted arches, up there, she ducked her head - as a loyal friend and loving sister, she always humored me and my painfully stupid jokes !

Love you acca and will forever miss you! 

(ps: I'm writing this, as I'm listening to your favourite SPB songs)

Good bye!

As I walk through this house, there is an indescribable sense of melancholy mixed with nostalgic happiness. I see my dad's presence as I go through each room to secure the windows, close the cupboards and cover the furniture. Perhaps for the last time as an owner or as a resident. (I don't think I will come back and stay in this house. The next time it will be probably to sell the house).

I go into a room. I can imagine him sitting there peering at the computer and at the phone OTP that he just received. I come to the hall and I can see him sitting on one of the sofas.  As I look at the TV, I cannot but picture him sitting in front of it watching a serial very intently and telling why the character should not behaving the way they are in the story. Or I see him, arguing, debating something with my sister who has just arrived from Mumbai because we are all here. I can really really sense a total joy in his voice as he talks to her -  that joy that never ever have I seen when he talks to me. But that's fine. I know that she was his favorite. But I also know that he was extremely proud of me and what I've done in general and what I've done for him and my mother. But I digress...

For some reason my dad fell in love with this house. I had bought this house for them, as their earlier residence was on third floor without a lift and they were getting by in their age. When I asked him why he liked this house so much that he refused to move to assisted living in his later and tougher-to-live-alone years, especially during Covid years, he always pointed to his memories - that so many things happened in this house. He used to say that all his grandchildren's pre-marriage functions were here, and this is where he built a lot of memories post retirement. He said he felt true joy and peace, in this house - more of it when his favorites grand kids and daughter* visited.

I also wonder given his  nomadic adult life, the last ~25 years of his life were anchored to this house. All his life, he was always moving around towns every few years due to his job. Maybe he was just tired of being a perennial itinerant. Maybe this house provided him a permanence where he could actually retire and rest. Maybe that is what made him love this house, because it gave him that anchor that he missed all his adult life. 

It's almost a year since he went and I'm still grappling, with little clue, of how to handle the loss. There always seems to be things that I could have done differently the last year of his life, but then I think it will always be like that.  This is something that I would have talked to my sister but... ... 

Today we'll lock up the house and prepare to travel out back to our home. Maybe selling this house also cements my memory of him and helps me to move on.

Maybe he is looking at me right now from up above smiling and turning around and telling my sister "...whatever he does, he will make the right decision...(eventually!! 😋)"  as he had told me so many times, with pride in his voice.

Goodbye house, goodbye dear appa. Tears well up, but I think they point little to a lingering sorrow, but more to a closure of the past and moving on to the future - that is hopeful, filled with your blessings for us, and especially, for your favorite grandson! 🙏🏽

Good bye! Love you, miss you!

(I used Google Translate to get a tamil version of the write-up for my mom - this is what I got)

பிரியாவிடை!

 இந்த வீட்டின்  அறைகளை நான் நடந்து செல்லும்போது, ​​ஏக்கம் கலந்த மகிழ்ச்சியுடன் ஒரு விவரிக்க முடியாத சோகம் உள்ளது.  ஜன்னல்களைப் பத்திரப்படுத்தவும், அலமாரிகளை மூடவும், தளபாடங்களை மூடவும் ஒவ்வொரு அறை வழியாகச் செல்லும்போதும் என் அப்பாவின் இருப்பை நான் என் மனதில் காண்கிறேன்.  

இதுவே இந்த வீட்டின் உரிமையாளராக அல்லது குடியிருப்பாளராக கடைசி முறயாய் இருக்கலாம்.  (நான் திரும்பி வந்து இந்த வீட்டில் தங்குவேன் என்று நினைக்கவில்லை. அடுத்த முறை வரும் போது வீட்டை விற்க நேரிடும்).

 நான் ஒரு அறைக்குள் செல்கிறேன்.  அப்பா அங்கேயே அமர்ந்து கணினியையும், அவர் பெற்ற தொலைபேசி OTPயையும் உற்றுப் பார்ப்பதை என்னால் கற்பனை செய்து பார்க்க முடிகிறது.  நான் ஹாலுக்கு வருகிறேன், அவர் ஒரு சோஃபாவில் அமர்ந்திருப்பதை நான் பார்க்கிறேன்.  நாங்கள் அனைவரும் இங்கே இருப்பதால் மும்பையில் இருந்து வந்த என் சகோதரியுடன் ஏதோ விவாதம்.  அவர் அவளுடன் பேசும் போது, அவர் குரலில் ஒரு முழுமையான மகிழ்ச்சியை என்னால் உண்மையில் உணர முடிகிறது -  அவர் என்னிடம் பேசும் போது நான் பார்த்திராத அந்த மகிழ்ச்சி.  ஆனால் பரவாயில்லை.  அவள் அவருக்கு மிகவும் பிடித்தவள் என்று எனக்குத் தெரியும்.  ஆனால் அவர் என்னைப் பற்றியும், பொதுவாக நான் என்ன செய்திருக்கிறேன் என்பதையும், அவருக்கும் என் அம்மாவிற்கும் நான் என்ன செய்தேன் என்பதையும் பற்றி அவர் மிகவும் பெருமைப்படுகிறார் என்பதையும் நான் அறிவேன்.  நான் டிவியைப் பார்க்கும்போது, ​​​​அவர் அதன் முன் அமர்ந்து ஒரு சீரியலை மிகவும் உன்னிப்பாகப் பார்ப்பதையும், அந்தக் கதாபாத்திரம் ஏன் கதையில் அவர்கள் இவ்வாறு நடக்க  கூடாது என்று சொல்வதையும் என்னால் கற்பனை செய்ய முடிகிரது.

 சில காரணங்களால் என் அப்பா இந்த வீட்டை மிகவும் ஆசையோடு விரும்பினார்.  லிப்ட் இல்லாமல் மூன்றாவது மாடியில் அவர்கள் முன்பு தங்கியிருந்ததாலும், அவர்கள் வயதை எட்டியதாலும் நான் அவர்களுக்காக இந்த வீட்டை வாங்கினேன்.  இந்த வீடு ஏன் அவருக்கு மிகவும் பிடிக்கும் என்று நான் அவரிடம் கேட்டபோது, ​​அவர் தனது --- பிற்கால மற்றும் கடினமான தனிமைப் பருவங்களில், குறிப்பாக கோவிட் ஆண்டுகளில் கூட ஏன் இந்த வீட்டில் இருக்க ஆசை --- அவர் எப்போதும் தனது நினைவுகளை சுட்டிக்காட்டினார் - பல விஷயங்கள் காண்டறது  இந்த வீடு.  அவர் தனது பேரக்குழந்தைகளின் திருமணத்திற்கு முந்தைய செயல்பாடுகள் அனைத்தும் இங்கே இருப்பதாகவும், ஓய்வுக்குப் பிறகு அவர் நிறைய நினைவுகளை உருவாக்கினார்.  இந்த வீட்டில் தான் உண்மையான மகிழ்ச்சியையும் அமைதியையும் உணர்ந்ததாக அவர் கூறினார் - அவருக்குப் பிடித்த பேரக்குழந்தைகள் மற்றும் மகள்கள்* வருகை தந்தபோது.

அவரது  நாடோடியான வாழ்க்கையைப் பார்க்கும்போது, ​​அவரது வாழ்க்கையின் கடைசி ~25 ஆண்டுகள் இந்த வீட்டில் நங்கூரமிடப்பட்டிருப்பதையும் நான் ஆச்சரியப்படுகிறேன்.  அவர் தனது வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும், தனது வேலையின் காரணமாக சில வருடங்களுக்கு ஒருமுறை வேலை மாற்ற காரணத்தால் நகரங்களை சுற்றி வந்தார்.  ஒருவேளை அவர் ஒரு வற்றாத பயணியாக இருப்பதில் சோர்வாக இருந்திருக்கலாம்.  ஒருவேளை இந்த வீடு அவருக்கு ஒரு நிரந்தரத்தை வழங்கியிருக்கலாம். அங்கு அவர், உண்மையில் வேலை-ஓய்வு பெற்று ஒரே இடத்தில் ஓய்வெடுக்கலாம் என்று நினைத்திருக்க கூடும். ஒருவேளை அதுவே அவரை இந்த வீட்டை நேசிக்க வைத்தது, ஏனென்றால் அது அவருக்கு அந்த நங்கூரத்தைக் கொடுத்தது.

அவர் சென்று ஏறக்குறைய ஒரு வருடமாகியும், இழப்பை எப்படிக் கையாள்வது என்று சிறிய துப்பு இல்லாமல் நான் இன்னும் போராடிக் கொண்டிருக்கிறேன்.  அவருடைய வாழ்க்கையின் கடைசி ஆண்டில் நான் வித்தியாசமாகச் செய்திருக்கக்கூடிய விஷயங்கள் எப்போதும் இருப்பதாகத் தெரிகிறது, ஆனால், அது எப்போதும் அப்படித்தான் இருக்கும் என்று நினைக்கிறேன்.  

இன்று நாங்கள் இந்த வீட்டைப் பூட்டிவிட்டு எங்கள் வீட்டிற்குத் திரும்புவதற்குத் தயாராகிறோம்.  ஒருவேளை இந்த வீட்டை விற்பது அவரைப் பற்றிய எனது அனந்த நினைவுகளை உறுதிப்படுத்துகிறது; மற்றும் நான் நகர்வதற்கு உதவக்கூடும்.

அவர் இப்போதும் மேலே இருந்து என்னைப் பார்த்து சிரித்துக்கொண்டே திரும்பி, என் அக்காவிடம் "... அவன் என்ன செய்தாலும், அவன் சரியான முடிவை எடுப்பான்...(இறுதியில்!! 😋)"  என்று சொல்லிக் கொண்டிரப்பார், அவரது குரலில் பெருமிதத்துடன்.

குட்பை ஹவுஸ், குட்பை டியர் அப்பா.  கண்ணீர் பெருக்கெடுக்கிறது, ஆனால், அவை கடந்த  துக்கத்தை சிறிதளவு சுட்டிக்காட்டினாலும், அது கடந்த காலத்தை மூடிவிட்டு, எதிர்காலத்தை நோக்கி நகர்கின்றன - இது நம்பிக்கைக்குரியது, எங்களுக்காகவும், குறிப்பாக உங்களுக்கு பிடித்த பேரனுக்கும் உங்கள் ஆசீர்வாதங்களால் நிரம்பியுள்ளது!  🙏🏽

 பிரியாவிடை அப்பா!  உன்னை நேசிக்கிறேன், உன்னை miss செய்கிறேன்... ஆனால் உன் ஆசியுடன், எதிர் காலத்தை எதிர் நோக்கி பார்கிறேன் ! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

The Winter's Grace

Never a complete zero

Neither the (chosen) one,

Nary a dream being an hero

Nor, with skills a ton.

No illusions of grandeur epical

Been a half-way decimal !

Never sought the bright light

Nor the anonymity of dark night

While on the roads straight

Curious with fringes I strayed !

Between the black and white

Have stood, enamoured by twilight!

Gone are those flames of fall,

In this icy morning pall,

Barren trees stick eerie,

The heavy mist rolls in quietly

Street opaque, ahead unseen,

Returning to comfort, I lean!

Deep inside, rises a stirring,

The chill, cold, but refreshing,

Glades sparkles of moist dew,

Birds tweet from their perilous pew,
of faith of day anew.

Piercing the ashen pale, a ray

Or is it hope thataway ?

The grey now holds me

In a gentle embrace, light

Casting path a new sight.

As the long gone dead

Gratefully, once said,

Getting to, at ease, I embrace

Not just a touch, but swathe of grays !

The Fire pit

Should I cross that high bridge
And climb that steep ridge

Should I take on those woes,

Dare to put on the brave shoes

To walk these hard streets

Or buy myself two cold feet?

Should I dare to strife

with things that come to head in life?

Or should I put up these cold feet

With a drink neat in retreat,

Watching life as it passes by?

I'll catch it another day before I die.

Tired to the bone, back I sit,

I'm done, just eff it!

What's the damn point, I rage, I rant

Two cold feet I firmly plant

Comfortably frozen, I stand rooted...

But the voice in me, refused to be muted.

As I look to push away the plate of grits,

A shadow glosses over my nits

Over my flaws, a tapestry knit,

She resets the pieces to a future fit.

I hear a slow rumble in tummy pits...

Are those antsy butterfly flits?

Or are those, long gone embers, relit !

The Magic of Cricket and its life lessons !

 This is the email I sent to my team in the aftermath of India's win at Brisbane:

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[Long read – choose to read it in leisure – not really work related 😊]

If you pass by an Indian or anyone with Indian lineage, just congratulate them – Team India had a magical win last night in test series (yes, this is the one, where one game lasts over 5d, with 6hrs/day) – against Australia *in* Australia, which was #1 ranked team. Most I know (in the US and WW) stayed up to watch the riveting game (till 1AM for me). Of course, there is a recency bias in here – this is being billed as the greatest test win and the 4-match series as the one of the most absorbing, if not the most, test series ever.

Why was it magical, consider this: (This was a four game test series):

1. India lost the first one at Adelaide – scoring 36 runs (as a team!! 😲 ) – it’s like the third lowest score in the ~150 years of history of cricket. The whole world/expected that after that display India will be rolled over for a 0-4 rout
2. Out of the 11, India’s first 8 players were unavailable – either rehabbing through injury or someone like our Captain (top 3 batsman/hitter in the world) had to return home on paternity leave
3. The bowlers (pitchers) were third team (practice squad), since the 2^nd team (back-ups) pitchers were hurt on tour. In the final and 4^th test match, the combined experience of Aussie bowlers had 1033 wickets (outs) amongst them, the Indian bowlers had ~4. This is like sending your 2^nd/3^rd team to play the World cup soccer against Germany/Brazil/Argentina
4. With this, INdia came back and won the 2^nd game making it 1-1, with an inspired display from the stand-in captain (scored a century)
5. The third game, we had an opportunity to win, but with 35 overs (6 pitches x 35) to go, one of the batsman tore his hamstring while running and the other bat tweaked his back – they settled for draw, blocking out very strong bowling by the Aussies.
6. In the 4^th and final test,
1. Everyone stood up – one of the mainstay in the batting – got hit 11 times in his body, including 3 pings to his head (w/ helmet)
2. At the EO of 4^th day, with India needing 328 to win on a pitch that had developed cracks (which means uneven bounce); with about 12 balls (pitches) to go, India won with 3 outs to spare!!

And consider this:

1. Australia has never lost in that ground (Brisbane) since 1988. They were the #1 team. They have #1 batsman and #1 bowler, in the world.
2. On the start of the final day, no one, no one – gave India a chance to win (including old timers like us). The Cricketers who stood up to be counted, were 21, 21, 22 and 33 year old.

To me there were some nice lessons I saw:

1. Trust the process, work the grass roots enablers – it is slow; but it is deliberate, but you’ll know you’ll arrive when the situation throws up
2. Build the bench strength, who will step-up; simulate real life situations for them (via the A and U-19 tours)
3. Right person for the right job – one of the legends of the Indian cricket, Dravid, chose to work with the India Junior/Under-19 teams, instead of gunning for high profile job. Everybody in this 2^nd and 3^rd team have come through that school
4. Let the team express themselves,but the buck stopped with the captain.
5. Blood youngsters and show them the outcome, they step up.

Copping Black

Here is some perspective from Trevor Noah on what is going on currently – it is a great perspective. I’ve been thinking about it myself, in the backdrop of the conversation here a few days ago; and in light of Amy Cooper incident. I wonder what would have happened to the Christian Cooper had the cops turned out and for some reason he had not recorded what exactly happened in [see the URL is in the footnote]. Would Christian Cooper automatically be a suspect, taken down, detained and hand-cuffed ? I don’t think any of us will have perfect answer for that, but I think it is more than likely that would happened.

Now, at work, we were asked, if we were all safe due to the protests and rioting. I made a joke that this is nothing, since we are used to more severe forms while growing up in India. But giving it a serious thought, this is where I used to see as black and white (or right or wrong);  now, I find myself hard pressed to get out of shades of grey ! Most revolutions are preceded by (violent) actions against institutionalized oppression. When I start judging rioting, I'm defaulting to my position of privilege, to make that judgement, because it threatens my and my family's safety, and hence rioting is wrong.  Those guys safety is threatened every day. I'm beginning to understand when very famous African Americans talk about visceral fear they feel when they are stopped by cops - Serena Williams (proxy), Michael Bennett, James Blake, so on. The impotent anger when they are stopped, frisked, handcuffed in public at a whim of someone’s mere doubt. What happens to an African American on the street, is something I cannot grasp, hence I think, I don't have the right to judge from my perch [The two interactions I have had with Cops in the US, have both been pleasant, btw]

Here is the link to Trevor Noah’s video, that provides a further context/clarity to my thinking about rioting and looting; and breaking of social contract.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDy3e_VEWms

Note:
Amy Cooper incident: https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/2020/05/29/amy-cooper-white-woman/

Epiphany !

A long time ago - six years ago, to be precise - Facebook reminded me that; we (as a family) were on a hike on one of the trails nearby. It was a bit of challenging time, and there was some amount of gloom amongst us; but at the top of the hike, looking down at the beautiful scenery, I had an epiphany... posted it then on FB; and FB reminded me that today !

Hope (In the times of covid19)

Amidst viral gloom,
Despair and doom,
Fed on glistening dew drops,
The bud pops...
This shall too pass,
Onto the other side, a dawn

A perfect 2020 !!

As I look back on the decades of 10s, I can only wish the decade of 20s will be as kind to me/us at the 10s were. 2010s is where we went through the tough road arriving at a very good destination in our lives. We settled;  thankfully got through the really tough times in early 2010s and settled – settled in the new culture, new jobs, new macro routines and new home. It was not (it still isn’t without) conflicts within our minds – there are times, when we feel we are where we shouldn’t be; and we aren’t where we should be, but, the guiding north star has always been one goal. And the 2010s were kind to us towards that goal. We believe now, we are in the vicinity of the goal – and I don’t have any doubt in my mind, that the goal is still afar and the difficulty multiplies as we get closer and closer. And all of us, particularly both of us, have to be in best health and wellness to be able to get there.

 

As we get into 2020s, our guiding star still remains – hopefully, we continue on our true north; we are going to be more deeply and intensely conflicted, with priorities, doubts and what is right and wrong. I just pray/hope that we continue to have that invisible hand that gently prods us to walk towards true north.

Wish you all a great 2020 and wonderful decade of 2020 !

Checklist for International transfer

Did this a long time ago, just jotted down a few things that I think are required for INternational transfer, based on my experience. I've heard it is quite useful for folks who are moving - here is the list.
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International Relocation – some helpful checklist (engeetham@gmail.com)

1.    Work

a.    Check lateral/upward/downward move with position

b.    Pay consistency

c.    Relo benefits

2.   Be aware that this is a big change for the family – so  you may need to spend time here running around for the first two months – set appropriate work expectations

                                      i.        School, school district – understanding them etc

                                    ii.        House hunting

                                   iii.        Car-hunting; furniture and house-hold shopping etc

                                   iv.        Getting local driver’s license, SS Card etc

3.   Personal

a.    Financial/Bank accounts in India, in your name

b.    Consolidate accounts where possible, so that you have single point of contact; and reduce interfaces

                                          i.    Also consolidation will help in getting premium/preferred status and hence better service

                                        ii.    Set expectations with the banks there, that you need support from them twice a year (once for India tax year and the other for US tax year)

                                       iii.    Switch to email communication (from paper statements)

                                       iv.    Understand a bit on US taxation

1.      FBAR filing (with US treasury – need some additional info from Banks for this)

2.      8938 filing

3.      You pay US taxes on world-wide income (even MF dividends are taxable)

4.      Get an accountant in India who would file on your behalf post HP’s tax-assistance after year 1

                                        v.    NRE/NRO & Mutual fund investments

1.      If you are pretty clear that you are going to go for your Green Card, switch your accounts to NRE/NRO status of the bank accounts – will help you in 15% taxation in India due to DTAA (see 2.a.iii.2 J); or else you end up paying 33% in India

2.      (added v2) Also, if you don’t need money in India, just keep some operating amount in NRO account, and get an auditor (CA) to fill form 15A and 15B (iirc) and move most of your NRO (or RO) accounts to NRE – this would mean local interested don’t get TDS’ed. Also, you can repatriate the money, when you need them in the US

3.     (added v2) Some MF/PMS’s are not available for NRI – check and exit them, so that you don’t get into trouble later

c.    Brace yourself for “IT Audits” in India – which means, bring all your past IT history, bank statements etc – a copy of those – best is to scan and bring it as soft copy.

                                          i.    I learned it the hard way, since I’ve been audited for three consecutive years L

                                        ii.    There are tons of documentation required for these audits.

1.      Which is why post-company tax assistance, you want to get a good IT auditor/accountant back in India.

d.     Bank account in India in your wife’s name

                                          i.    Similar stuff as above

e.    Your local insurance and premium payments

                                          i.    ECS ? Checks ?

4.    (Added v2) PF and other retirement annuity (like Super Annuation)

a.    Exit them within the India tax year – the PF withdrawal is not taxable in India. In US, they are taxed on withdrawal at the applicable rate at withdrawal (all retirals are)

b.    So work with your CA (preferably US Based CPA), and get the right advice – I believe there is something like if you transfer (say) Nov 4^th – that is 183d in India and you get to file (primary resident) taxes in India and only residual taxes (under DTAA) in the US from Nov 4^th to Dec 31^st,

5.    Personal Items

                                    v.     Residence, Car, phone, gas connections (need to take care of all those)

                                   vi.    Even after 11 years, I’ve all of them going J (House is locked, car is driven once in a while, phone is in ECS etc etc)

                                                      i.        If your house is locked, pay all the bills via ECS or pay some 10k, for example, for electricity

                                  vii.     Your/Family past medical records, if you have them

                                viii.     Safe keeping of valuables – either in local lockers or in someone else house

                                                      i.        If in locker, rent paid in advance or managed

6.    Family

a.    Assuming you will all go for Green Card

                                          i.    Need all birth certificates (in absence of BC, for you/wife/kids, need notarized affidavits from respective parents)

                                        ii.    Need all your, including spouses, college certs (degree, marks etc)

                                       iii.    All your old/expired passports

                                       iv.    All your vaccination records

                                        v.    Your local (English) driving license

1.      If your wife/family member, drives there, great – but if not, it would be good to take classes there to get the sense of driving before coming here

                                       vi.    Ensure passport has the right first name and second names (key for applying for Social Security #s)

b.    For kids:

                                          i.    You need the vaccination records for school here

                                        ii.    Whatever books you could ship – the books here aren’t the same as in India (for e.g., comics like Asterix are not known here J)

c.    Bringing your parents or in-laws later on; if you plan to get them to travel here

                                          i.    Bring a copy of their passports etc; particularly, if you feel they’d be clueless about some of these requirements

d.    For house-hold, may want to specifically ship:

                                          i.    Idli grinder (we are South Indians, we have to do this J)

                                        ii.    Local blender (the blender here aren’t so tough)

                                       iii.    Pressure cooker, gaskets, spares

                                       iv.    Silverware, if you are interested in getting them here

                                        v.    Initial medicines for all

                                       vi.    If you have a computer there, just may be bring the hard-disk with you !

                                      vii.    Some of kids favourite play stuff (trampoline kinds J) – particularly if you get shipping assistance

7.    (added v2) Trust creation

a.    Finally it is very common to have trust created in the US. The reason being the lenders have lien over your assets if something were to happen to you. They get the first dibs to it, before your family gets it

                                          i.    You cannot have a trust in the US that covers international assets – you need to have one in the US covering US assets and one in India covering India assets

                                        ii.    So. If you want to add your assets in India to a trust, think of one right now